My Crisis

Yea.

A crisis im having now.

A crisis thats slowing me down.

I know that the only thing i can do now is to keep moving so tat i can get to leave this god damn crisis... but well, the thing is... i juz got to action.

I dont like people to frown at me in disapproval.. looking at me as though im doing the wrong thing. I dread that kinda feeling where ive no results to deliver.

Heck, my team needs me. I need them too! We're all going through a crisis and we need to go all the way to back up ourselves! Maybe i really belittled my own abilities. Perhaps my potential to lead wasnt unleash! I never felt tat my ability to lead isnt there.... Rather, if i can lead well, then where have all the leadership gone to? we're in a multi million dollar business... i need to get things done! Y is it that every other people can achieve it except my group?

I dont understand.

But the thing i understand now is that.. i juz have to keep moving. Cuz if i stop, nothing is never ever gonna come to me. I've to make the whole thing look simple cuz it isnt really that tough if u ask me. And if it isnt that tough, so y the crisis now? Well, i guess i juz gotta find a reason and a place to rant.

13 more days to go and i need to show some results. I promised results and ive gotta deliver. If not that other person will say that i aint effective enough. As always, he feel that i cant do enough for my group. He feels im not capable. I climbed to this status becuz of many factors other than my own.

I know im good. I know i can do it. Heck! I write so much here for fuck? I really need to get something grooving. Or else, the whole group is gonna go down with me and that isnt wat i want. Honestly, that isnt really wat i want.

I gotta stand tall, cuz if i dont, who else would? I've always told them to stand tall. Be strong and keep moving and yet the only thing that i cant handle is myself. They always say that doctors can heal everyone except themselves... i guess this phrase to some extent is true...

But heck, i should not be thinking of all this crap to back my fucking dumb excuses up. I am me. and i shall rule supreme. I shall stand with the ranks of Josua and Patrick! Heck, i must even climb higher than them! Anything else means little. I must plan my ascension! I must plan it from today. I must aspire to be huge. My collosal goodwill will travel far and wide!

If someone else could do it, so can i! Its the road least taken, and thus, more problems would incur and thats where my rainbow is.

Im still fighting.

Light will come.

Bless me for i need strength.